Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating

Two We Met IRL Volunteers pose for a photo

So you’re going to a speed dating event, and you’re panic Googling about how to prepare? I gotchu! For context, I’m Maxine, the founder of We Met IRL Speed Dating in New York City, so I know a lot about these events, and how to make sure you have a positive experience. Below you’ll find a list of 3 do’s and 3 don’ts for speed dating events.

Do’s of speed dating:

Do arrive on time! This might seem like a simple one but as an organizer myself, I really want to emphasize the importance of arriving on time. Not only does arriving on time help the people that planned the event, but it also gives you a chance to relax, get some water or another beverage, and get a scope of the space as other attendees arrive. I think the perfect time to arrive is 5 minutes after the official start time. That way you’re not too early, but you’re not late either. Most events aim to start 15 minutes into the event, so you’re in the perfect sweet spot.

Do dress to impress! First impressions are everything, especially when it comes to dating, so I really want to encourage you to dress in a nice outfit that is flattering, and comfortable for you. Dressing nice will show others that you care about your appearance and that you're put together. I always want to emphasize the importance of wearing something comfortable. This isn’t the event where you decide to wear those shoes that are uncomfortable, or the shirt that is a little too tight. I recommend that you go for an outfit that you know you always look good in!

Do have a positive mindset! When it comes to dating, I’m aware that people have a lot of anxiety and discomfort on the subject, which often can bleed into the energy at a speed dating or singles event. I highly recommend that you approach the event in a casual, fun mindset. You might not meet the love of your life, but you’re guaranteed to have a variety of conversations, in a nice welcoming environment. Try to think of the event as something fun and new that you’re trying out, as opposed to something annoying, lame, or intimidating.

Don’ts of speed dating:

Don’t force it: Speed dating is an interesting environment because of the awareness that everyone at the event is there to meet new people. While that might seem like it eases the playing field for approaching people, that’s not always the case. During a four-minute speed date, most people will be cordial and nice, which might make it hard to discern if a person is really hitting it off with you. I highly suggest that you try to read the room and really think about whether someone is genuinely enjoying their time with you. I’m very much in support of you shooting your shot, but don’t force it if someone seems uncomfortable or if they say no when you ask for their info. If someone likes you, you shouldn’t have to convince them to exchange info.

Don’t bring up past relationships: Avoid discussing negative experiences or being overly critical about past relationships, other people, or even the event itself. Maintaining a positive and upbeat demeanor will make you more approachable and enjoyable to talk to.

Don’t overindulge in alcohol: While having a drink can help ease nerves, overindulging can lead to poor judgment and behavior. It's important to stay composed and respectful throughout the event. Keep your alcohol consumption in check to ensure you present your best self.

Speed dating can be a fun and exciting way to meet new people, but it's essential to approach it with the right mindset and etiquette. By following these do's and don'ts, you'll be well on your way to having a positive and enjoyable experience. Remember, the goal is to have fun, make genuine connections, and possibly find that special someone. So relax, be yourself, and enjoy the experience. Happy speed dating!

Thanks for reading,

Maxine 

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